Lost Draft

I remembered the sound of my heart broken in to pieces at the end of January set it loose, hopefully you're free and I'll be free maybe relieved

I had a presentation today in the afternoon, the article was good, critical and took me almost three days to summarise without rehearsal, I talked a bit stiff and not as fluently as the corporate finance one but anyway I still remembered my points and made it enough for 15 mins well-prepared and familiar with topic are above all most important, I presume with my good mood and high spirit, I spent two more hours reading required textbook in the library got back to my flat at 8 pm, defreezed salmon and vegetables  started cooking at 8.37, finished at 9.33 eating and cleaning up til 9.58 one and a half hour, all done, with something left for tomorrow lunch or dinner lovely evening and relaxing through cooking 

Peter asked me to offer some 'girl' point of view when shopping for his girlfriend's V-day present thank God I had made my plan and kept up with it well so I could squeeze a whole afternoon to spend just enjoy the process of buying, not buying itself though I did find something I was looking for :P but one never knows  like a treasure hunt for me everytime I went out with friends my word is my bond what a good saying! keep on going!

as the final results came out on Friday morning, me and some friends decided party for the night  we went to my girl friend's place have some drinks from 10 pm to 12 am then went out to clubbing til 3 am came back to cmh, exhausted and content   good time, nice people what else could one ask?

and the best part is that I'm eating leftover from last night I'll be really fat if the situation continues... earlier that day, well actually afternoon me and my pretty girl friend went out for lunch that Japan restaurant I heard of is really good so I took her there we had a great time, food was great and we talked for hours from relationship to future perspective, nice and quality time to spend with someone who shares similar view of life and she is very easy to talk to I think that's the reason why I came here, far away from home and using my second language, for meeting wonderful people outside my own country maybe we all can stay together for this less than one year master education, but hopefully friendship can last longer than that it's amazing to get to know other culture, and best part of it is that we're here at the same university, only fate could explain anyway, I have to make best out of it by studying really hard...

it's nice to have some time out, otherwise I'm literally dying with readings... but still, hard work will pay out eventually, just have to hold on to it

I think you're having the power over my feelings not sure if that's a good idea as I'm so unsure with my future time goes by and I grow fonder of you not sure if you feel the same for actions speak louder than words what's mine will stay those don't belong to me will fade away I wish you'll be mine it takes time to tell I'm a patient person so I shall wait

最近氣溫都好低啊@.@ 天氣冷就很不想動，但是該做的事情很多 太多了真的 而且心情一直處在很灰暗的地帶 不是我不想讓自己開心一點，只是黑洞就在那個地方 用忙碌把自己淹沒 先站穩了，再往前走吧

it was snowing yesterday really amazing to look at, but annoying to walk in it I like Tuesday lecture, lecturers were having a drink with class after lecture, a.k.a. happy hour lovely :)

Life sucks, but there's always hope and love Just be true and honest to yourself and people around you Everything should work out nicely in the end

怎麼說，應該說玩火者絕對自焚 還有就是絕對不要跟自己的原則做對，因為有一天你會知道，原則之所以要訂立，並不是拿來打破的，而是拿來遵守並且解決一些可預見的麻煩事情的 而我，之所以遵守原則就是為了不要發生遺憾的事情 今天就是這樣的一天 後果我必須承擔因為我其實有預感這件事情會變成這樣...踩到一團泥淖中絕對是掉到底，不會有中途抽腿，或是任何的僥倖發生 所以有的時候還是需要做風險評估...這個風險太大不想承擔的話還是算了 直覺提醒你的時候要聽從啊...親愛的

開學了，同學們都回來了，那些嘴巴很健康的傢伙也都出現了XD 自己遇到很多厲害的同學真的是太幸運了

願天下有情人終成眷屬 但是我決定把這天拿來給我自己，跟自己好好的對話，釐清我困擾很久，甚至是從還沒出發來英國之前的想法 剛開始的時候可能想法還是很模糊，思考的點沒有辦法很清楚，但是隨著時間經過、經驗累積、資料收集等等的前置作業陸續佈置完畢，該是把這些很尖銳並且要求一個明確清楚答案的問題好好的回答了 之後可能會很痛 就算很痛也不能像之前那樣很快的找個人來填補傷口，那樣即使傷口看起來癒合，裡面還是爛的 心裡受了傷不能表現，苦苦壓抑之後就是外顯的縱情，還有不顧後果的透支自己的健康，說是燃燒自己的生命也不為過 要等，等這個傷口自己從裡面好起來，即使這樣要等很多很多年 是說有的東西需要沈澱，像是美酒，抑或是感情，不論過去、現在還是未來 能夠在還理智的時候切斷，就這樣切斷吧

在2012/12/31的11.30pm終於找到同學跟鄰居 能在煙火放起來的時候有他們一起真的是太好了^_^ I shall remember those touching moments spending with them ;) 新的一年不能免俗要來一下新年x新計畫 早睡早起 每天鄭多燕15 min 學德文 stay fabulous 順利畢業拿到msc 找到工作 大概就是這些吧，檢驗時間有一年，接下來也要好好努力喔

2012年要過去了 總結這一年： 認識了很多新的朋友，發現跟有相同目標的人一起為了目標而努力的時候很能激勵自己，很久很久沒有這種 feel inspired 的感覺，除了跟自己有相同興趣的朋友之外，能夠再度把自己的視野推出去，我感到相當的興奮 家中長輩身體還算康健，希望老人家能健健康康，出國唸書之後反而是比較掛念家中長輩，以往都會一個禮拜回去探望一兩次，現在只能每個月寄明信片給他們報告近況，有點傷感 課業果然是相當的吃力，即使是已經接觸很久很久的科目，越是往下探討越是覺得我這些年真的不夠努力，不是重點式的努力不夠，而是能夠綜觀全局的努力，或者說是大方向的錯誤...但是既然知道方向不對，是該要拉回應該有的軌道（自己心裡要有一把尺） 工作上開始指導新進，但是自己的專業能力還是要持續加強，朝向輔佐兼指導那樣的狀態前行，能付出且同時學習更多的東西，做事情要用心更要用腦 至於感情方面，除了價值觀人生觀，對未來的計畫，志趣相投這些必要的精神層面的東西之外，很多事情已經是心如止水，沒有什麼大喜大悲的起伏，也不知道這樣到底是好還是不好。唯一可以肯定的是，走出去之後看到聽到體驗到什麼最好能夠在第一時間做出正確的判斷，不要浪費自己的時間也不要浪費自己的感情，我相信每樣東西都是有限度的，不要欠，因為總有一天要還... 突破了自己的舒適圈，雖然只是小小的，但是希望可以循序漸進 希望2013我的朋友們、家人都能事事順心的過 而我自己定給自己的目標，2013看看能達成多少